Yesterday I mailed some documents to the Chin. Consulates, today I mailed a grant application to Show Hope (Steven Curtis Chapman's organization). We've made numerous trips to our local P.O. Yesterday the lady asked if I was adopting because I didn't want to go through the pain of labor and delivery again. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
I've only given birth twice (Will and Ben where a two-for-one). Neither time was a bad experience at all. Now being sick to my stomach and throwing up for three months each pregnancy, I could do without. But, adoption is definitely not the easy way out. Especially for those who are organizationally-challenged control-freaks as I am. The paperwork is unreal, and it has to be perfect. You aren't supposed to remove any staples, and I am stressing because the Secretary of State in Tennessee removed a staple and re stapled a document. I was supposed to mail my Show Hope documents in a 8x11 in envelope, but the guy at the post office insisted it needed to be in an express mail envelope, now I am stressing over that. I need to let those things go, in the long run they aren't a big deal, they can hold up the timing of this adoption, but ultimately God is in control. Our finances and budget have been gone over with a fine tooth comb by our adoption agency, the Chin. govt., our home study agency, and each of the grant applications I apply for. We've been questioned numerous times about our faith, our parenting styles, our reasons for adopting, and our marriage.
I am not complaining, I understand that this is done for the safety of the children being adopted, and that is a good thing. And what we get in the end, a precious child, is worth every single hassle, just as having morning (all day) sickness was worth it!! I would do both again 1,000,000 times! Since the fall, there is no easy way to have a child. I just wanted to give a PSA about what not to say to a prospective adoptive parent. Especially one who, unlike us, has dealt with years of infertility before deciding to adopt.
Wow. I love you guys.
ReplyDeleteI love you too!
ReplyDeleteIt's one of those things people say feeling the need to "say something"........especially after you've beomce familiar over the weeks of frequent trips to the Post Office.
ReplyDeleteTypically, the type of situation where the PERFECT response alludes you until about a week or so later ;P
I know she didn't mean anything by it. She's pregnant and probably has labor on her mind, and I wasn't at all offended. I just wanted to make a PSA becuase I've heard many adoptive mom's - especially those who first struggled with infertility- say that comments like these and "Oh, now that you've adopted, I'll bet you'll get pregnant" are hurtful. Almost like adoption is a second best option, when in fact it's not.
ReplyDelete