I am constantly aware that many people have empty arms for many, many years. Some are never filled. My heart really does break for those mommies without babies. It breaks for people who have lost babies. This process (so far) has gone so smoothly and I am left awe struck with gratitude. We are so joyful, and so thankful for everyone that shares our joy. Should I feel guilty then, that I really miss Grace? That I ache to hold her in my arms, squeeze her really tight, kiss her chubby cheeks, smell her hair, watch her wrestle with her brothers and snuggle with her daddy? That I am jealous of the two years we've missed out on, or that I am starving for another picture of her, and desperate to do everything just right so that she can come home quickly? Am I being callous and ungrateful? After all we've only been waiting a few months- a very short minute in the typical adoption time frame. Or, did God place some of these feelings in my heart so that I can already love a baby I've never seen, who isn't kicking me from the inside, but is growing steadily in my heart? Should I tell myself to be patient, or should I quit scolding and allow myself to really ache for Grace?