China Adoption Testimony

So Paul and I have been asked to give our testimony about Grace's adoption at "Story Sunday" at our church. Here is what I am planning to share:

"Motherhood and adoption are two things that I've felt called to for as long as I can remember. I believe the Bible when it says that children are a blessing and took very personally the command to care for orphans in their distress. Paul and I began our journey on the the road that has lead us to this adoption early in our marriage by being foster parents in Tennessee, which was another huge leap of faith that was not easy but the rewards have been immense. God blessed our family first with our son Sam, and then Joe. It was after Joe was born that the desire to adopt a little one internationally began in my heart. I really thought that we'd have one more child the old fashioned way and then adopt one more and that would complete our family. I spent hours pouring over pictures online of babies in orphanages over seas. But, God had other plans, as he often does, and we were blessed with precious twin boys, Will and Ben. After our twins were born Paul felt strongly that we were to help other families be able to adopt, but that our hands were truly full, and our family was complete. With four blessing ages four and under I knew my hands were full, and mother hood did not (and doesn't) always come easily to me, I often falter and am brought to my knees by my own lack of ability and brokenness, but I love my kids and despite all this the desire to adopt another child was still very strong. I often wondered why God had given me the desire and seemed to be calling me to adopt, but not Paul. While Paul (and most of my close friends) knew that I wanted to adopt - and I especially wanted to adopt a little girl from China, I never nagged or made it an issue. After all, he is the leader of our family, if it was meant to be, God would have to move him, and he would have to choose to obey. I frequently reminded God that I was willing, and my frequent prayer was for God to either change my heart or Paul's. I really thought it would be mine.

Well last May (after over seven years of praying), my husband blew me away by telling me he wanted to adopt a little girl and he felt now was the time. After my initial shock wore off (which only took about a day) :), we began the process of adopting our 5th child. We did research foster parenting again, but it was soon made obvious to us that the China Waiting Child Program was the best choice for our family. The process to adopt was not easy, but within 9 months God had provided in every way for us to travel to China and be united with our daughter. We were humbled and grateful for how He provided and how were were carried by our friends and family - including our small group at FBC. Our trip to China was life changing, and something I am so thankful I was able to experience.

As you can imagine adoption requires a substantial investment of time, funds, faith, patience, and most of all trusting God with lots of unknowns. However the rewards are immeasurable. The absolute truth is that God knows what you need, and what I need. His plans for you are good, even if they aren't easy or what is deemed "normal" by the world. God knew that we needed Grace even more than she needed us. She was the perfect match for our family. He knew that she would bring joy to our family that we could never have experienced without her. There are pieces of my husband and my sons that I never would have known existed if it wasn't for Grace. We all love her so much. God can take broken and imperfect people and bless them if they only trust Him and obey His leading. But he can't fully bless you if you don't trust Him enough to obey Him and answer when he calls. I know that there have been other times I haven't obeyed His callings, and I hate to think of the joy I've missed out on.

There are by some estimates 140 million orphans in the world today. If every Christian family adopted, that need would be virtually eliminated. But I'm not going to ask anyone to adopt, because I definitely don't think everyone is called to do so. And, I'd never want to guilt anyone into adopting a child if they didn't really want him or her with all their heart, the way we wanted (want) Grace. However, if you do feel called to adopt, then I would encourage you to trust God's plan and not allow the fears, and the costs to prohibit you from experiencing His blessing. Most of you will not be called to do what we've done, but as Christians - the Body of Christ - we are each called to something. We can't fully function as a body unless each of us obeys. I would encourage all of you, and I need to remind myself daily (sometimes minutely), that we are to trust God. That His plans for us are good. While sometimes what He asks of us isn't easy it is better to be in obedience to Him, experiencing His blessing, than to allow fear and the desire for ease to rule our lives and be outside of His will, not experiencing His blessings, and hindering the work of His body.

Seen around our home today.....

Poor Will's asthma and allergies are acting up so he's playing wii on the second gorgeous day of the year. Sam is playing baseball, but I got a quick picture of him with Joe and Ben and their turtle and frog that they found in the yard yesterday. Grace wore her China dress to church this morning and was much happier about it today than she was in China. She is now napping.

2 Months

This picture was taken on 3-14-11, forever family day! What a change has taken place since.

It was 2 months ago on Saturday that we met Grace. I think it's difficult for any of us to imagine life without her. She is the icing on the cake, such a joy and a blessing. She definitely completes our family. I know I've said this 1,000,000 times but I am so proud of my boys and the love that they have for their little sister. We found out on Monday that Grace had a UTI. I am not sure how long she has had it because she has a very high tolerance for pain. But, her happy, funny personality changed and she was sad and irritated most of the time. The boys all had scratch marks on their faces from her. But, that didn't stop them for sneaking up and grabbing her for a quick smooch on the cheek before she took a swipe at them. I was starting to really worry about her, because she was either clinging to me for dear life or asking to go night-night at all times. We were actually kind of relieved (while still anxious) when she spiked a fever, and we realized this was physical and not some sort of problem with her bonding. So anyway, she is back to her usual self now and is so funny. She tried sleeping in the basement with the boys tonight and was very proud of herself, but ended up in her own bed for the night. Her vocabulary continues to grow by leaps and bounds. I think by six months here she'll be talking in sentences. Her special need has been a total non-issue, though we are doing our due diligence and taking her to a specialist at UofM sometime soon. We are waiting for an appointment. Today Will asked me if there was anything else that we don't know about Grace. I thought that was kind of a loaded question and asked him for an example. His answer was, "Like that she has too much ear wax." (She had to go to the ENT to have wax removed in order to rule out an ear infection.) I laughed on the inside, but told him that there was lots we didn't know, and that hopefully we would continue to find out the important things.

Finally got a picture of all the kids together!

These were taken on Mother's Day. We took a bunch more, but it's taken me so long to download these that I have to give up now. The boys each wanted a picutre made with Grace and I wanted a picture of me with each child. I think they turned out pretty well- considering how fun it is to take picutres. :) I had to drastically reduce the resolution because our dsl is so slow, and it still too a long time to download these.

Duet

The boys decided to do their music practice together today. This is what they came up with. :)

Don't be jealous........

But we are now the proud (at least I am proud, Paul still acts a little sheepish) owners of a 12 passenger van!! I am actually so excited to get it. We can fit all the kids, their friends, their bikes, groceries, you name it! Kind of funny since I was the one who hated switching from my Montero to a mini-van. We are keeping the other small van, this is for trips, hauling things (and people) and driving the whole family places. We are glad that we won't have to have three kids squished into the back of our small van any longer.

Unfair

I finished reading Xinran's Message from an Unknown Chinese Mother the day before Mother's Day. I told Paul that I wasn't sure how to feel after reading it. It was written as a kind of offering or gift to girls adopted from China, to speak for their birth mothers and why they had to give them up. It is several true stories of women who had their girl babies taken from them or they had to abandon them. But, it's so horribly sad, that I think I will wait until Grace is an adult before handing it to her. After a few days reflection I think that it's left me with the impression that sin is so horribly unfair and senseless. It is unfair that any baby should be abandoned, and there are by some counts 17 million orphans alive today. It's unfair that babies born to families that love them but are too poor to raise them or to pay for surgeries that would correct their needs. It's unfair that children starve to death, and are abused. It's senseless that girl babies are killed a few minutes after birth, or ripped from their devastated mothers' arms - simply for being girls. It's unfair that children must be raised in orphanages, face major surgeries alone in the hospital, and the *fortunate* ones must be seperated from all that is familiar to them in order to begin a new and better life. I don't even want to ponder what happens to the unfortunate ones. The only hope I have after reading this book is that I serve a God who knows what it really means to be treated unfairly. To be abused, abandoned, and killed. My hope is that in the end I KNOW Christ will triumph over death and sin and all will be set right with the world. That every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. Praying constantly that I can live up to the awesome priveledge and responsiblity of being a forever mom.

Mother's Day

What a poor blogger I am! I wish I had more time/creativity/pictures to blog. Life has returned to a new normal and we are all doing well. Baseball has just began and Sam is doing really well. Joe just had his big orchestra performance of the year and is a yellow belt now in Karate. Will is getting ready to start baseball too and is excited. Ben is starting baseball and is nervous. All four boys are ready for summer. They are at a birthday party all day today, and it's weird not having them around. Grace is asleep, so Paul and I have a few moments of quiet. Grace is doing really well too. She got sick the weekend of Easter, and it was rough. I thought that she would enjoy having a mommy to snuggle her when she was sick, and I think in some ways she wanted to, but she still resists being held too close, and went back and forth between crying and wanting to be held, and crying and wanting to be alone. She settled for falling asleep on Baba's chest. Once we got some medicine in her and she felt better, she became her normal charming self. We got some precious video of her with Paul's grandpa who has Alzheimers. She likes to sing, and jump on the trampoline, and swing on the swingset. She still hates the grass.

I am excited about Mother's Day tomorrow, it is always a special day, and we go to eat at a wonderful spot for brunch after church every year. Paul always spoils me. I think I'm getting a good camera this year, so maybe I'll have some pictures for the blog!! Mother's Day is bittersweet too. Thinking about birth mothers who gave my children life, and me an amzing gift. The big question now of "Why?" that will never be answered. I'm glad I have some quiet today to reflect on that.