We have been having such a busy, full summer that I haven't had time to update our blog. I love Michigan summers. Once we get well into June the weather is beautiful, everything is green, and we take a break from homeschooling. :)
Sam, Will and Ben all played baseball this summer. Which meant at least 4 nights a week at the baseball field. That is a lot, luckily Grace loves to "go bye-bye" and there is a great playground next to Sam's field. Sam had a great season, with a wonderful coach. His team won third place in their division. Will and Ben did one more year of T-Ball (by choice) and had a lot of fun. They are ready to move to machine pitch next year.
Joe finished up his year of orchestra, and decided not to play ball this year. We were kind of disappointed because he was really progressing last year, but at the same we were relieved to have one less place to be. He had to take a break from Karate due to his brother's baseball schedule, but as he is the busiest kid the rest of the year I don't think he minded.
Paul and the three younger boys have been to several Tiger's games. Sam got the privilege of accompanying Dad to opening day, but has chosen to watch the rest of the games from home with Mom and Grace. He hates the drive there. :)
Grace is doing so well. She is strong willed, knows exactly what she wants, and is determined to get it. She's also hilarious, fun, sweet, affectionate, and so stinkin' cute! I love her strong will and determination, I think it served her well the first 2.5 years of her life. I am reminded daily of the little report we got of her months before we met that said, "Sometimes people love her more when she is naughty." ;) She says 100's of words. I have no idea exactly how many. She strings them together into sentences like, "Mom go doctor nose." (I had surgery on my nose - yuk.) She no longer calls herself BeiBei, but now says "Gace". I'm a little sad about that. Grace is really warming up to people and has stayed with our neighbor and her grandparents. She is still really scared to stay in the nursery at church and I'm not pushing it. She is a total daddy's girl and Paul is truly her favorite person in the world. She misses him so much while he's at work. She calls him "Bob", (short for Baba, the Chinese word for daddy) and says, "Where Bob?" all day long. Of course she has him wrapped around her little finger. While Paul is at work she is my little shadow, and stays very close to Mama. She likes to read books, sing songs, help me cook, and swing in her swing. After THREE UTI's she's on a maintenance dose of antibiotics. She will have further testing in Aug. to find the root of this. She also has a spinal x-ray and MRI scheduled just to find out exactly what is going on there. But, she has had no health problems at all other than the UTI's. She's a joy to the entire family and many others. The boys still are crazy about her, and she is warming up to them more and more all the time.
All 5 of the kids are enjoying swimming in our pond and just playing with our friends and being kids. We have a weekly playdate/Bible study at the park, which has been such a blessing. We hosted our annual Father's Day fish fry, had three fun 4th of July cook-outs, (Grace loved the fireworks!) and had a great time at the zoo with family. The kids and I are SO excited about leaving for our annual summer visit to TN tomorrow. They love to play with their cousins and spend time with their grandparents. My sisters haven't met Grace in person yet, and they are dying to see her.
Paul is busy at work, and is redoing our bedroom. It should be done when we get home from TN. I had three minor surgeries on my face at once, which knocked me on my tail for a while but I feel much better now. I've spent a lot of time preparing for our new classical education homeschool group next year. It meets twice a week, and has the potential to provide an amazing supplement to our kid's education. I am super excited and nervous about being a part of this from the very beginning. I will be teaching writing and literature to the K-3 and 4-6 graders, as well as spending some time in the preschool.
Raising five children has it's challenges. Our housework and laundry never, ever gets done, and honestly sometimes that makes me feel like a failure. It's loud here, very, very loud, which helps Paul to practice being patient. :) Paul and I spend a large amount of our time parenting which means working to find time for our marriage, not to mention any other interests we might have (I can't come up with any right now). God is using parenthood to stretch and grow us, and sometimes that's uncomfortable. But, growth is always a good thing. I am so thankful for our family and sometimes I wish I could freeze time and not let anything change, ever. 11, 9, 7 and 2 are the perfect ages. (Okay I might let Grace turn four because four my favorite age, but then she can't get any older.) Sam is really turning into a young man, and it won't be long until the other boys catch him. Parenting Grace as an older mom (haha) is so different. I feel much more confident that I'm not going to ruin her - and I also realize how very quickly each stage really does move, and that they don't stay little for very long at all. So we are embracing the terrific two's and looking forward to the even-more-terrific threes. God has been very good to us in so many ways but mostly because He sacrificed his only son so that we could know Him, and we are so grateful.
My next post is going to be nothing but pictures. I hope to be able to work on that in the evenings when my kids are in bed at my parents' house, since I won't have 1 million other things I should be doing. Now back to packing and the other things I have neglected while writing this post. :)
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Out of Egypt
This is from my friend Rebecca's blog. She is an excellent writer. She wrote this about a month before she met her son Moses - also from China. He's been home exactly a year, and I am sure this is even more true today than it was when she wrote it. I followed her trip to China eagerly, and this post really resonated with me and still does. Enjoy.
"Those of you who have been following our story know that our 13-year-old son picked out the name “Moses.” He started praying for his little brother by name every night last summer, before we even realized that boys in China needed homes. What we haven’t told you is why he chose that name. A symbolic, spiritual answer seems fitting here, but I don’t have one. JD chose "Moses" because he wanted their dynamic duo to be known as: “John Dynamo and his Little Bro, Mo.”
Our friends have had different reactions to this name. Apart from Gwenyth Paltrow’s son, you just don't see it very often. "Moses" is not something you'll find embroidered on pillowcases in a Pottery Barn Kids catalogue. Yet, the Lord hides lessons in unexpected places. And we've learned that He can even do that with a name birthed out of teenage wonder speak.
When you first start to develop a heart for orphans, it’s easy to embrace a ‘savior’ mentality. Why? Well, you see heart-wrenching YouTube videos and hear the awful stories about how these kids start life, so you are horrified. You want to get involved in liberating a child from a hopeless, abusive existence. You want to be the rescuer. Saving at least one child becomes the focus of your heart.
Yet, social workers and experts strongly discourage the ‘savior’ perception. They don’t want a child growing up feeling like a charity case, and that makes a lot of sense. Maybe you have seen hovering, needy moms turning older adopted kids into objects. They nurse their own insecurities by making their identity as ‘adoptive mom’ central to most conversations. They do this in front of their children, and you can literally watch their kids wither as they listen. The sensation I get while watching this exchange happen is almost one of bondage. The mom continually suggests that her child is indebted to his/her rescuer. It feels shameful. There is no dignity involved in this sort of relationship.
Bobby and I are still very new to adoption, so my reflections are green. But this bondage dynamic has been the total opposite of what we have experienced so far. Moses isn't even here yet, but we have still found a duality of salvation happening. Our child isn’t the only one being redeemed through this process. He is also being used by God to rescue his parents... perhaps to an even greater extent than what he is experiencing.As I look back through the past year, I can see how God has already used our little Moses to lead me out of a thousand captivities. I used to confidently throw around the name of God while working for earthly masters. I was bound by political frustration, materialistic goals, and self-centered dreams. I was frightened because I might someday suffer, but I didn’t grieve because others are already suffering. I was too much like the parents in The Boy in the Striped Pajamas, myopic and self-indulgent, pursuing new toys while people were dying. I was too certain and too hard. I didn’t let the pain of the world penetrate my heart deeply enough.
Of course, I still have tons of room to grow and change. On the "Simmer v. Belly Flop Sin Continuum," I'm a belly flopper. I'm the sort of person who goofs up robustly, and I will tomorrow, and I will the next day. However, because of Moses, I am no longer the same person now that I was before he was in my life. He's not even here yet, but he has already made me see and feel the whole world - and my role in it - so differently. I can't imagine how much more he will teach me after he arrives. So rescue? Who is being rescued? Sure, I can give Moses a home. But he has given me the gift of sight in exchange. He has rooted my loyalty deeper into eternity. He has softened my callouses. He is loosening my grasp on foolish things, wooing me not with rules and demands... but with a smile so big his eyes disappear. He is unhinging thirty years-worth of captivity. He is transforming my "they" into "we".
Moses is leading me out of Egypt.At this point, in our relationship I am the debtor. He has already given me so much more than I can offer him. Perhaps someday God will help me return the favor, and we can be equals. But until then, thank you, Moses. I have needed you. And I need you still."
"Those of you who have been following our story know that our 13-year-old son picked out the name “Moses.” He started praying for his little brother by name every night last summer, before we even realized that boys in China needed homes. What we haven’t told you is why he chose that name. A symbolic, spiritual answer seems fitting here, but I don’t have one. JD chose "Moses" because he wanted their dynamic duo to be known as: “John Dynamo and his Little Bro, Mo.”
Our friends have had different reactions to this name. Apart from Gwenyth Paltrow’s son, you just don't see it very often. "Moses" is not something you'll find embroidered on pillowcases in a Pottery Barn Kids catalogue. Yet, the Lord hides lessons in unexpected places. And we've learned that He can even do that with a name birthed out of teenage wonder speak.
When you first start to develop a heart for orphans, it’s easy to embrace a ‘savior’ mentality. Why? Well, you see heart-wrenching YouTube videos and hear the awful stories about how these kids start life, so you are horrified. You want to get involved in liberating a child from a hopeless, abusive existence. You want to be the rescuer. Saving at least one child becomes the focus of your heart.
Yet, social workers and experts strongly discourage the ‘savior’ perception. They don’t want a child growing up feeling like a charity case, and that makes a lot of sense. Maybe you have seen hovering, needy moms turning older adopted kids into objects. They nurse their own insecurities by making their identity as ‘adoptive mom’ central to most conversations. They do this in front of their children, and you can literally watch their kids wither as they listen. The sensation I get while watching this exchange happen is almost one of bondage. The mom continually suggests that her child is indebted to his/her rescuer. It feels shameful. There is no dignity involved in this sort of relationship.
Bobby and I are still very new to adoption, so my reflections are green. But this bondage dynamic has been the total opposite of what we have experienced so far. Moses isn't even here yet, but we have still found a duality of salvation happening. Our child isn’t the only one being redeemed through this process. He is also being used by God to rescue his parents... perhaps to an even greater extent than what he is experiencing.As I look back through the past year, I can see how God has already used our little Moses to lead me out of a thousand captivities. I used to confidently throw around the name of God while working for earthly masters. I was bound by political frustration, materialistic goals, and self-centered dreams. I was frightened because I might someday suffer, but I didn’t grieve because others are already suffering. I was too much like the parents in The Boy in the Striped Pajamas, myopic and self-indulgent, pursuing new toys while people were dying. I was too certain and too hard. I didn’t let the pain of the world penetrate my heart deeply enough.
Of course, I still have tons of room to grow and change. On the "Simmer v. Belly Flop Sin Continuum," I'm a belly flopper. I'm the sort of person who goofs up robustly, and I will tomorrow, and I will the next day. However, because of Moses, I am no longer the same person now that I was before he was in my life. He's not even here yet, but he has already made me see and feel the whole world - and my role in it - so differently. I can't imagine how much more he will teach me after he arrives. So rescue? Who is being rescued? Sure, I can give Moses a home. But he has given me the gift of sight in exchange. He has rooted my loyalty deeper into eternity. He has softened my callouses. He is loosening my grasp on foolish things, wooing me not with rules and demands... but with a smile so big his eyes disappear. He is unhinging thirty years-worth of captivity. He is transforming my "they" into "we".
Moses is leading me out of Egypt.At this point, in our relationship I am the debtor. He has already given me so much more than I can offer him. Perhaps someday God will help me return the favor, and we can be equals. But until then, thank you, Moses. I have needed you. And I need you still."
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